Here's how it goes down: We write some live comments, and then there's a little scorebox at the end for our final 'score' (snarky opinion).We hope you enjoy this half as much as we did, but we'll settle for a quarter.
1 Armenia: Aram MP3 - Not Alone
Metroid Prime 3 is not what it used to be.
I think it looks.... flagbulous.
BOOOOOO! Come on, Leanne. Boo with me.
<insert authentic boos of agreement with Tobi>
Ohhh! hes going for the microsoft advert style dubstep. Of course. Also I like how hes neo from matrix.
I like the really intense backgrounds and effects on a really tame song
2 Latvia: Aarzemnieki - Cake to Bake
Isn’t this a LazyTown song?
I kinda hope so. Also is everyone's theme gonna be taking photos of their food? I feel like I fell asleep and woke up in instagram.
It’s Lazy Town quality anyway. They even look like they belong there.
pretty fuckin baked
Dough more your best next time
3 Estonia: Tanja - Amazing
Oh look its the crew of the nostromo! Watch out for xenos.
Oh god, it’s one of those songs that are in English and yet I can’t understand what they are singing.
I don’t think this lives up to its name. I want approximately ten refunds.
DUDE IN WHITE PANTS! ...lady in diaper?
4 Sweden: Sanna Nielsen - Undo
She is good at blowing job.
Leeet it goooooooooooo~
Come on. She even has a laser ice palace and snowflakes glisten in the background.
Yeah I think you nailed it.
(thoughts may or may not be stolen from Lee)
Quick turn his text green!
Her ice-laser palace got hella big.Shame she didn’t make a laser golem though.
My brain already let it go
5 Iceland: Pollapönk - No Prejudice
I wonder if that solitary woman you can hear going WOOOOOOOOOOOOH is like, their Mum or something.
“No prejudice”? Nice try, guys. Your name is POLLAPÖNK. You can’t name yourself that and then ask for that.
Stylish as fuck.
bubububububububu. I think they met at a beard club. Oh wait, I think we have our first rainbow entry. Yknow. Russia and that.
Did the green guy get sick?
Maybe he was the talented guy.
I like the 3D floor cubes. How very 90s screensaver.
Not bad I guess, for a slightly political entry. Good for them.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the same as them on the inside.
Missed green, but it was ok
6 Albania: Hersi - One Night's Anger
Whoa she got a whole tat just for this competition.
They should have sent the Sparrow instead of Edna Mode. NO CAPES
I really hate her voice… and her disco pants suit made out of golden doilies.
Aw geez its the obligatory folky entry.
WATCH OUT ITS AN ICEBERG
thankYEEEEW for stopping
7 Russia: Tolmachevy Sisters - Shine
Russia loves they some girlduos.
I hope they’re actually tied together by their hair.
TEETER TOTTER OMG I am way into this now.
NO! Get back on there. Now the other lady can’t play!The fuck is a teeter totter, Belgian? Do you mean a seesaw?
That see-saw defied physics!
This is fairly fabulous tho.
I can’t paid attention to the song though.
The obnoxious lightshow distracted nicely from the boring song.
Pretty Shiny, Mal.
8 Azerbaijan: Dilara Kazimova - Start a Fire
If they don’t actually start a fire then this is the worst song bar none.
But it was always burning, since the world’s been turning
And this one is on the jungle gym. Playground twins are hip.
Man this is a dirge For my attentionspan. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Can I go to bed now?
If you started a fire I’d die in my sleep
I’m asleep now.
Not with a bang, but a whimper
9 Ukraine: Mariya Yaremchuk - Tick-Tock
This is funky. ...but then she sang.Pretty funky. Obligatory flirty and vaguely s&m-ish love song entry.
Dude in the hamster wheel is powering all the special effects on the stage.What do hamsters have to do with clocks?
Modern clocks don’t need to be wound anymore. Is her heart outdated and unwanted? :X
YAY I BROUGHT MY BEDSHEET TO EUROVISION
Ticked some boxes.
10 Belgium: Axel Hirsoux - Mother
Really? We can choose to represent your country any way you like and he chose “laundry”?
HAHAHAHAHA BELGIUM HAHAHAHAH THIS IS ALREADY GOLD. Laundry and mummys boy song!
He needs your love, Tobi. Go give him your Belgian love.
“You are a dead mother”? 8|
"IM WEAK, YOUR BRIDE" 8|
IM DYING THIS IS AMAZING XD You guys you guys im dying oh god
11 Moldova: Cristina Scarlat - Wild Soul
Don’t let me down Moldova. I’m serious.
Good point, Moldova’s always got the cray cranked.
Mother of Dragons isn’t from Moldova.
Yes. Yes to this. Game of Dubz
I like her dress though. It complements her slaves.
Slaves and she is singing about having no mercy or patience.
Disney villain confirmed.
Even so, this seems almost too normal!
..did she just pull her hair off?
And half her jacket.
11 because Moldova
12 San Marino: Valentina Monetta - Maybe
Ok im just gonna say what everyone else is thinking. This is arse.
It’s a bathroom break song.
This isn’t making me feel any less tired.
May Bee find the power to stay awake.
Maybe, but probably not
13 Portugal: Suzy - Quero ser tua
Wait, we heard “some great songs”? What?
First non-English song of the evening!
Wow ok shes basically nude.
Don’t you mean “wow-wa-weh-wuh-wey”?
Poison Ivy should stick to villainy, since music isn’t her forte.
14 Netherlands: The Common Linnets - Calm After the Storm
Nerderlands are usually good for a laugh.
This sure is authentic to the feeling of being bored on a long trip.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to play your instruments in the middle of a road.
This sounds like 'every breath you take' by the police.
Yeah, it’s pretty similar.
I actually do like the backing visuals a lot though. But yeah, super dull song.
A little bit country, a little bit toss and turn.
Tears of my boredom
15 Montenegro: Sergej Ćetković - Moj svijet
My serious guy singing a ballad in a foreign language sensor is going off.
DING DING DING.
Isn’t this that Titanic Song?
I wish we were listening to some Celine right now. :<
Fuck I love eastern euro accents tho.
Poor skater girl fell over and no one helped her get up.SHE WAS A SKATER GIRL, HE SAID SEE YA LATER GIRL
I like to imagine that is what the song is about.
I like the effect though on the stage. It reminds me of Okami.
Oh yeah! That is nice.
I dunno, really.
I already forgot
16 Hungary: András Kállay-Saunders - Running
<Obligatory being hungry joke.>
Oh boy some angst! About time. xD
HEY NOW DON'T BAIL. WE ARE STUCK HERE AND YOU ARE TOO.
I cry, cry, cry every time I have to watch Eurovision. :|
“Daddy leave me alone”? What is it this year with weird parental stuff? :|
It’s alright now. The song’s over.
Hungary was here, Ash is a loser.
Gotta go fast.
Conclusion: lol belgium omg. *teases tobi forever*. Stay tuned for part 2 later this week.