More shame! Sleaze! Songs about dairy products!
1 Malta: Firelight - "Coming Home"
I already don’t like it.
lmfao he’s dressed like Nicholas Cage in Raising Arizona
Oh god he even does Cage expressions.
What instrument is that, btw?
I believe its the pretensioboe
This is neither unpleasant nor particularly pleasant.These guys never blink. It’s creeps.
coming home empty-handed.
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no.
THE BEES OH MY GOD THEYRE IN MY EYES THE BEES
2 Israel: Mei Finegold - "Same Heart"
‘You feel me up with poison gloves’?
I heard that too e_e She must be an RPG rogue.
Well, I seizured.
Nice legs tho.
- ___ -
3 Norway: Carl Espen - "Silent Storm"
Obligatory tedious solo singer entry. ZzzzzSlow songs need to be banned from Eurovision. Fuck is this. Leanne has enough trouble to stay away without this.
Yknow, we’re like collectively about 2 and a half hours in and I just noticed the stage has LEGO bricks around it.
Wait, he was singing in English?
No way, Norway
There’s the doorway
4 Georgia: The Shin and Mariko - "Three Minutes to Earth"
They have a pirate??!I love it already. Simba is born.
Aw geez. Maximum folkage.
Parachute guy should've landed somewhere else.
I’d be all over the Rainbow Bus. Unless that was just lies.
Yodelling, floaty dresses...These guys aren’t folking around.
HIPPY DIPPY BALONEY
Three minutes too long.
Felt like it was longer than that
5 Poland: Donatan & Cleo - "My Słowianie - We Are Slavic"
Oh gosh. Cultural heritage lesson hiphop with prettygirls. This is one of these tragically special entries.
This may be too slavic for me. It has authentic wallcarpets though.
I do not like the look she gave me while she was churning there.
...This makes me uncomfortable.
big bobs n errytin’
I never want to see this again.
6 Austria: Conchita Wurst - "Rise Like a Phoenix"
She really did not want to walk on that snow.
Psst I think this songs about transgenders maybe.
I thought it was about Harry Potter.
Psh typical prejudice. Just because she has a beard doesn’t mean she’s a wizard.
I have to say that I was hoping for a comedy act when I heard about a bearded lady. :|
Instead we got a James Bond song.
Rise like a beardnix
7 Lithuania: Vilija Matačiūnaitė - "Attention"
DO A FLIP
“A drink or tuba”?
One of life’s deeper questions
Oh look its another bearded lady. Copycats.
I don’t think I quite understand the chimneysweep parasol skirt.XD holy shit her skirt has gloryholes. I mean… arm holes.
I thought that was pretty ok.
I didn’t pay that much attenTION, sorry.
I went to get a drink. That’s my score.
8 Finland: Softengine - "Something Better"
Oh come on. With a title like that, you are ASKING to be riffed.
Sorta generic pop, but not bad. I’m tapping my foot which means either this song is alright or the caffene has just kicked in.
I think it’s ok, but I can’t understand a single word, but I’m almost certain it’s in English.
I can manage about half the lyrics thanks to living in the north of England for long enough.
You don’t live up THAT far north.
Nice guys might not finnish last
Sorry for zoning out. I was doing something better.
Could have been something better.
9 Ireland: Can-Linn feat. Kasey Smith - "Heartbeat"
Did Jedward get a sex change?
This looks more like a Romanian entry than an Irish one, if I’m honest
This is the most tanned someone from Ireland has ever been.
Has a chance.
Was she actually Irish?
10 Belarus: Teo - "Cheesecake"
I’m not looking forward to this one. We’ve already had figurative cheesecakes AND literal cakes.
OHMYGOD ANOTHER CAKE SONG?! SERIOUSLY?
I wasn’t expecting a sausage fest onstage when I read that title.
Yeah I was thinking the same. xD Also… oh dear.
I can only actually understand the word “cheesecake”. In the chorus, at least.
Ok this is sorta fun I guess. But cringe. Maximum cringe.
That’s just cruel. I thought it was over, but they started over ;o;
Somehow not even the best cake song of the competition
11 Macedonia: Tijana - "To the Sky"
LOOK OUT LADY THERES AN ASSASSIN BEHIND YOU
Get her, Altair!
Maybe i’ve just given up or something but I’m sorta enjoying this one too.
2 da mooooon
12 Switzerland: Sebalter - "Hunter of Stars"
I dig this. He is wearing a cool outfit.
Are you by any chance wearing a similar ensemble today?
NAW. *also whistles innocently*
I have to admit that I thought he was flipping us off.
“I fear your judgement”
It’s like he knows.
13 Greece: Freaky Fortune feat.RiskyKidd - "Rise Up"
Bathroom break! Wait shit I cant afford to miss Greece. Fffuuu
This is exacerbating my headache.
This is so greece you guys. Every year it’s like this.
The horns on the background are killing me.
dgfskijsghsdfkgdfgTRABAMPOLINE?! WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME? Teeter totter has heavy competition all of a sudden.
so greece u guys
The closest my sound has gotten to “mute”.
14 Slovenia: Tinkara Kovač - "Round and Round"
Playing a flute too. Maximum nerd. ;)
...I can’t say bad on a flautist. :|
Although she doesn’t need to sway like she’s drunk.
That flute is pretty easy to play. She did it without moving her fingers.
Butch women and playground equipment sure are this years themes.
I wasn’t actually listening to this one. Sorry.
Bad things about flautists
15 Romania: Paula Seling & Ovi - "Miracle"
Lol its a Romanian Aziz Ansari
That wasn’t magic. That was CGI.
They have a circular piano thing on set and it is ridiculous.
If you loved Europe you wouldn’t have put us through this.
It’s a miracle they got this far.
It’s a miracle I don’t have to endure any more of this.
Romania realized that they needed CGI cleavage
And we’re done!
Well that's the semifinals out the way at least. We might just add on the unique entries in the finals or we might go through 'em again... Dunno. My homies seemed to be clocking out on me though. Eurovision always comes at a price. Let that be a lesson to you.